Sunday, December 7, 2008

Bye Bye Baby

This week, Steven and I said goodbye to our baby at 10 weeks. I went in for an appointment the day before Thanksgiving, and there was no longer any heartbeat (we had seen one at week 7). The doctor said we would probably lose the baby within the week. Sunday night, I woke up with incredible pain, lasting nearly 8 hours until the process was over. I thought I would go to work, as I was starting to feel better and didn't want to spend the day home alone (don't ask me why I thought I should even be at work; I have no idea) but the car wouldn't start---talk about perfect timing! When I called my coworker Maureen to let her know I wouldn't be at work that day, she offered to take me to my doctor's appointment.
Since Steve had a paper due that day (he had been putting it off all weekend to take care of me), he had to go to school and teach seminary. I didn't feel like moping alone at home, so I walked over to the Crall's, where Lorein and Carter graciously entertained me until Steve was able to come home.
This week has been hard. I've been going to work, trying to distract myself from thinking about anything but it has been getting better with time. My office and Steve's family both sent us beautiful flowers as soon as they heard; everyone has been so supportive and understanding of the situation. My best friend Katie has called me every day to check up on me and make sure I was doing ok. My parents got my brothers and sisters and their families (8/10) to sign a very sweet card for us that they sent in the mail. It arrived on the day we needed it most. My favorite comment was from my younger brother John ("The Titans lost one last week but rebounded to win triumphantly. You will too.") because he made me laugh when all I wanted to do was cry (that's John for you). We're really blessed to have people who love us this much and we couldn't ask for a better group of family and friends.
Though I would never wish to go through something like this, I have learned a lot with this experience that will probably benefit my life for the future:
10.We really want to be parents someday. Can't wait until it's our turn!
9. I am definitely taking pain meds for labor! (this was much worse than a marathon).
8. Sometimes bad things happen to decent people for no apparent reason.
7. Running fast is a good way to work off pent-up emotions.
6. Thinking about others will help get your mind off your own problems.
5. I have the best boss and coworkers ever.
4. Life is precious. Never take anything for granted.
3. We have an amazing support network of family and friends. Thanks everyone!!!
2. Kiki really can tell when I am sad, and she'll sit and cry with me if I need her to.
1. Steven is the most loving, caring, and wonderful husband a girl could ever hope for.
Thanks again to everyone, we appreciate everything you have done to help us through our tough times. Even though many of you are far away, we really feel of your love and support. Thanks!


betsey said...

April, I'm so sorry! I'm so glad that you have had the support and love of amazing family and friends during this time. You guys are in our thoughts and prayers!

Catherine said...

Love you April. You were in our thoughts and prayers yesterday on Fast Sunday. We're excited for you two to have kids too! We spoil our nieces and nephews like there's no tomorrow!

Jerkolas said...

I am so sorry to hear about this. Glad to see the positives that have come from it, but will keep you in my prayers.

Welfymom said...

Oh, Sweetie. I'm so sorry. I also lost our first baby at about 12 or 13 weeks. It feels just awful for a while. I still think of that baby and what kind of person he or she would have grown to be. Take good care of each other and take time to heal. I know it's not much but tell us if we can do anything for you.

Annalisa said...

April! I'm so sorry. And I'm sorry I didn't know sooner. I'm glad you have so many people to help you through such a hard time - especially your husband. It sounds like you two are really supportive of one another. That's really special. I'm here for you if there's anything I can do.