Hebgen 2011 and Bar Stories Part II

We spent another nice vacation this year up at the cabin. But before we could go up there I had to get the Utah Bar Exam out of the way. Funny story about that (but not funny at the time). The night before the first day I got almost no sleep, thanks in large part to some recent changes to Utah’s fireworks laws. Apparently you can now set off fullblown bombs and missiles for nearly the entire month of July. Thank you Tea Party. So, going into the first day I was already sleep deprived.

The next night I climbed into bed around 10:00 pm in order to get a solid night’s rest before the second full day of testing. My parents were out of town and April was hanging out with a friend so I was all alone. As I was starting to doze off, the doorbell rang. I got dressed, went down stairs, and opened the door. There was no one there. I climbed back into bed started to drift off. The doorbell rang again. I climbed back out of bed, got dressed again, and looked out again. Nothing but darkness. This could only mean one thing: doorbell ditchers! (either that or the Raven). Let’s just say that these kids clearly picked the wrong house with the wrong guy in it on the wrong night.

I slipped out the back door and hid in the bushes near the front yard. When the teenagers struck a third time, I pounced. I caught up with them after about a block. I didn't know I was in that good of shape. When I finally caught the little neighborhood punks, they were a bit taken aback by the extent of my fury. After a very “nice” long chat that included a discussion of the ramifications of trespassing (I was fresh up on the elements after all) they decided that they would not doorbell ditch me any more. The next day I finished the bar about 40 minuets early. They wouldn't let us leave before time was called so I took a nap right there in the test hall. I was that tired. Suffice it it to say I have never been so glad to get away to the cabin.

This year was particularly fun because we had the entire extended Garff Family up there, including our friends, the Brays, who came all the way from England.

Now that I see the picture, I realize that he didn't like this very much.

William really liked the frog we caught. It hung out on the top of his head.

Now whenever we say the word “frog” he points to his head. He also now puts his stuffed animal frog on top of his head. I guess he has figured out that the top of his head is where frogs go.

While at the cabin William discovered that he loves boats. He has been obsessed with them ever since. He calls everything that looks like a boat, “boat” and he pushes his toys around the carpet making boat sound effects. William’s namesake observed that this boat infatuation is a “genetic flaw,” all Garff’s seem to have it.

Can’t wait till next year.

I Passed!!!

That's right, California Bar results were finally released last night. Until about a week ago I had successfully put the Bar Exam out of my mind (no human could possibly survive for 4 months under that kind of suspense). There was one slip a couple of months ago. April and I were watching the movie Yes Man and to my horror I noticed that the airport scene was filmed at the Ontario Convention Center. It all came flooding back to me, but only for a moment. Then last week I started having the nightmares. In some I passed and in some I failed but in most I never got to find out. I was confident when I walked out of the exam in July. However, that confidence slowly drained to about 50% as of yesterday. But then at 6:00 PM it finally all seemed worth it.

8,667 people took the CA Bar last July with a 56.4% pass rate, putting me in the company of a very relieved 4,888. The pass rate for the California Bar usually falls between 30% and 60%. I expected it to break 60% this year because there were so many law students taking the test (law students do better than repeat takers).

If you really want to have fun you can take the very Bar Exam that I took (the California portion anyway) for yourself. The State Bar published it here. I can't think of a more fun-filled way to spend 12 hours.

Bar Stories

There is a robust tradition of Bar Exam lore. The Bar Exam is such a crazy process that the bizarre and outrageous are inescapable. There’s the one about the person who wrote “I am depressed” on their performance exam. Then there’s the one about the woman who had appendicitis on the first day of the exam but put off surgery until the test was over.  And of course, last year there was the earthquake.

I didn’t have anything quite as extreme happen, but it wouldn’t have been the bar exam if things didn’t go wrong on the first day.  A section of the room where I was didn’t have any power so we started a little over an hour late and didn’t get any time for lunch.  Then towards the end of the first essay portion, the Examsoft program on my computer stared malfunctioning, making it so I could not backspace or delete anything.  And because these things always come in three; a couple of buddies and I decided to get pizza after the first day.  Good Idea? Fabulous! (that’s a Barbri joke) No it wasn’t.  Chris and I both got food poisoning.  Not cool.

Everyone who takes the bar has a funny story too.  And no, the food poisoning story is NOT funny!  But this one is: There were a bunch of applicants at the convention center, all from a certain fourth-tier law school, wearing green shirts that said: “Do it once, do it right, and never do it again!” 

As my friends and I were walking back from lunch on day-two, we started talking to a guy from that law school. One of my friends said to him: “I’m glad that you’re not wearing one of those stupid shirts.” To which he replied: “That’s because this is my third time.”

If you were to just ignore the six hours a day for three days of complete misery and the fact that I was sick, taking the bar was kind of like a nice little vacation. It was fun hanging out with my friends that I hadn’t seen for a while.

I’m so glad I’m done.

Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast

(breakfast on Friday, that is)

Bar Blues

In case you are wondering where I have been, I have spent the last two months in the state of Columbia, at a place called Blackacre to be precise. There I have been dealing with all sorts of characters whose names usually start with the letters “P” and “D.” These crazy people like to run each other over (as well as commit a wide variety of other torts and crimes), that is, whenever they are not selling widgets. Oh, and I can’t forget Harry and Wanda, one of whom is always dying or else seeking a divorce.

That’s right; I’m studying for that California Bar exam where I will spend three days for six hours a day sorting these fictional characters’ problems out. Just in case you haven’t heard of it, the bar exam is a particularly sadistic procedure that lawyers have set up in order to limit their competition so that they can increase their fees. CA lawyers are especially sadistic (read greedy); adding an extra day, covering more substantive law, and doubling the length of the performance tests.

If I learn everything in all these books then I can pass for sure.

April has recently been circulating this picture with the false and misleading (a favorite word combination of lawyers) claim that Kiki studies more then I do.

What she failed to mention is that Kiki sleeps all day and this was like the one time she ever studied Barbri.

Well, I guess I had better get back to work…

Oh, but one more thing. Don’t you people taking the Utah bar and other two-day bars call me after day two and brag about how you’re all done. I’ll bite your heads off.

I'm Done!

It's over. I am done with my last law school final ever and I will graduate tomorrow. Unfortunately much of that joy was diminished yesterday when a giant box full of all of the bar review books that I will be ploughing through this summer arrived at my door. Between the multi-state and California, they probably weigh a total of about 50 pounds. But for the moment it feels good to have it all done.

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